My Children Are Dogs

Janine Adams admits her children are dogs—standard poodles, in fact—and she says Kramer and Scout are “a huge part of my life.” Adams is a freelance writer who specializes in books and articles on pets and makes no apologies (except to her parents) for saying her dogs are enough in her article My Children, My Dogs:

I have dogs. I don't need kids. At least for now, they fill whatever slight maternal urges I might have. (Sorry, Mom and Dad.) I'm happy to say that I'm not alone. A survey of pet owners by the American Animal Hospital Association in 1995 revealed that 61 percent of the dog owners surveyed believe that caring for their pets fulfilled a need of parenting. The previous year, 69 percent of dog owners surveyed said they give their pets as much attention as they would to their children and 54 percent of the survey respondents said they felt an emotional dependence on their pets.

Adams points out that that raising well-behaved dogs is very similar to raising well-behaved children but with some advantages—when the dogs are really bad she can put them in a crate.

Flickr Photo by Sailing Footprints: Real to Reel (Ronn ashore)

/ CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Earth Days

Before electric cars, curbside recycling, before energy-efficient light bulbs and wind farms there was a handful of pioneering “greenies” who wrote articles and books or worked to organize protests, demonstrations, and sit-ins for environmental issues as varied as DDT use, nuclear bombs, overpopulation, and pollution.

These efforts sparked a groundswell of awareness and political and social activism which led to the first Earth Day in 1970 and new research, initiatives, and numerous government bills which have changed the way Americans think and act as stewards of the land upon which they live.

A PBS/American Experience film called Earth Days documents the early days of the environmental movement and features interviews with activists and influencers such as biologist/Population Bomb author Paul Ehrlich, Whole Earth Catalog founder Stewart Brand, Apollo Nine astronaut Rusty Schweickart, and Silent Spring author Rachel Carson.

In an unprecedented move, PBS will offer a “social screening” of this film through Facebook at 8 p.m. EST on April 11, eight days ahead of the film being broadcast on PBS American Experience on April 19 PBS 9 EST/8 Central.

I was still a kid during the 60’s and 70’s protests but, as I wrote in Two is Enough, I recall being urged to eat my veggies because there where starving people in Africa. Later, in my twenties, I would get very angry when people threw litter out of car windows and was very pleased to see that littering fines were being enforced by cops patrolling the highways in Canada.

I was recently contacted by a man who informed me of the Earth Days film and told me he had made a pledge not to have children and had the vasectomy to back it up. I admitted I was not motivated primarily by environmental concerns to remain childfree. However, I am motivated by environmental concerns to recycle, drive less, and conserve food and water.

Were you motivated by environmental concerns not to have children? If not, how has the environmental movement influenced your behavior?

The Benefits of Marrying Well are More Pronounced for Men

It used to be that women were motivated to marry, in part, to ensure their economic security. Now, a new Pew Research Center report titled New Economic of Marriage: The Rise of Wives reveals that the increase of college-educated working women has been a boon for the men who marry these women, not the other way around.

The report's authors, Richard Fry and D'Vera Cohn, wrote:

“From an economic perspective, these trends have contributed to a gender role reversal in the gains from marriage. In the past, when relatively few wives worked, marriage enhanced the economic status of women more than that of men. In recent decades, however, the economic gains associated with marriage have been greater for men.”

Forty years ago, the typical man did not gain another breadwinner in his household when he married. Today, he does—giving his household increased earning power that most unmarried men do not enjoy. The superior gains of married men have enabled them to overtake and surpass unmarried men in their median household income.”

Another benefit of marrying well for men is increased longevity according to another Swedish study, which showed that married men with college-educated wives live longer than men with less-educated wives, likely because of the higher incomes which fund good health care and the fact that men with well-educated wives are more likely to eat healthier and seek care for their ailments at the prodding of their partner.

So the next time your wife brings home another order of Chinese take out because she is working late or she nags you to eat your veggies or to go to the doctor, just thank her.

Flickr Photo by Clevercupcakes

Take Me To Your Tweeple

I’m feeling like the aliens shown above because I’ve just created my first Twitter account CbyCproject and I feel like I am on a different planet.

The Childless by Choice Project social media outreach began with the Childless by Choice Project website, a Squidoo lens, a blog (first as a contributor of Purple Women & Friends and now this blog), then the Facebook Page for Two Is Enough, and now Twitter.

I was reluctant to sign up for Twitter at first because I really didn’t have the time and I didn’t know how I might use it. Then a month ago I signed up for a class on social media at a writer’s conference and began to understand where twitter fits in an outreach program. I realized this was another way to connect with other childfree folks and to continue to learn and share.

There is no possible way one book or one documentary can encompass all there is to know about the childless by choice demographic. We are not one homogeneous blob. So I like to go beyond my survey respondents and the participants of the Childless by Choice Project and hear from childless and childfree people from all over.

I was recently contacted by a woman from Argentina. She found me through Unscripted, the ezine for the childfree, after an online search and she wondered if there was a Spanish language version of Two is Enough or the documentary. Unfortunately no, not yet. However she reminded me that childfree people exist in every corner of the world and in every corner of the web.

If you are a twitter user please tweet me at CbyCproject and let’s start a conversation.

Flickr Photo courtesy of State Library and Archives of Florida

Ted Olsen, Conservative Lawyer, Fights to Overturn California’s Gay Marriage Ban

Yes, you read it right. Ted Olsen, the same guy who got George W. Bush into the White House by arguing for Bush in Bush v. Gore in the Supreme Court went to district court last month (Perry v. Schwarzenegger) to argue that California’s ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional.

Why would he do that? One, because he thinks he can win and two, he thinks marriage is a good thing, for individuals and for the community. Gay or straight.

Here’s what he wrote in his article for Newsweek, published prior to the trial, titled The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage:

What, then, are the justifications for California's decision in Proposition 8 to withdraw access to the institution of marriage for some of its citizens on the basis of their sexual orientation? The reasons I have heard are not very persuasive.

The explanation mentioned most often is tradition. But simply because something has always been done a certain way does not mean that it must always remain that way. Otherwise we would still have segregated schools and debtors' prisons.

The second argument I often hear is that traditional marriage furthers the state's interest in procreation—and that opening marriage to same-sex couples would dilute, diminish, and devalue this goal. But that is plainly not the case. Preventing lesbians and gays from marrying does not cause more heterosexuals to marry and conceive more children. Likewise, allowing gays and lesbians to marry someone of the same sex will not discourage heterosexuals from marrying a person of the opposite sex. How, then, would allowing same-sex marriages reduce the number of children that heterosexual couples conceive?

This procreation argument cannot be taken seriously. We do not inquire whether heterosexual couples intend to bear children, or have the capacity to have children, before we allow them to marry. We permit marriage by the elderly, by prison inmates, and by persons who have no intention of having children.

Thank you Mr. Olsen for acknowledging the childfree marriage and our right to be married under the law. I know you are not fighting on behalf of voluntarily childless couples but if you and your very capable co-counsel David Boies succeed in your efforts to overturn Prop 8, you will have gone a long way towards challenging the antiquated idea that couples who are unable or unwilling to procreate should not have the right to legal marriage and to enjoy the benefits of that institution. If intentionally childfree or infertile heterosexual couples can marry, why not gay couples? Children don't make a marriage, committed partners do.

Closing arguments have yet to be presented. However, I will be following up on this trial in this blog. If you would like to read the transcripts from this hearing click here.

The Personality Theory: Results So Far

Thanks for posting your type here. We also invited the Two is Enough Facebook fans and The Childfree Life (TCFL) goodreads.com book club to do the Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs topology personality test and post their types and out of the 45 people who did so by January 20 we had a whopping 16 INTJs.

This is significant because INTJs are rare, said to represent only 1 percent of the general population but represented 34 percent of this childfree population. The next types in line were ISTJ (representing 11 %) and INFJ (representing 11 %) and ISFJ (representing 9%) and ENTJ (representing 9%). Note all the Judgers here.

Of course, this was not a representative or scientific survey by any stretch. However, the results do beg real research on this theory.

Any doctorate students out there willing to take this on?

Testing the Personality Theory

In Two Is Enough I suggested that certain personality types may be more likely to remain childless by choice. My theory is that Introverts and those that are Myers-Briggs Thinker and Judger types might be more predisposed or inclined to challenge the assumption of parenthood and embrace a childfree life.

The members of Goodreads.com The Childfree Life book club are testing this theory in the discussion thread and are posting their types. The majority who have posted their types after taking a Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs topology personality test are reporting they are T/J’s (Thinkers/Judgers) and most are introverts as defined by this test.

How about you? Are you childless by choice? If so, click on the link above and take a few minutes to do the test and post your type here. We’ll see if the theory proves out.