You’d be Such a Great Parent

Two is Enough is the featured book in The Childfree Life (TCFL) goodreads.com book club this month and next. I am joining in the discussions when I can and in one discussion on the chapter on assumptions two women had commented that people always said they would be a good parent. One is a teacher and she wrote "Parent as a noun is common...it is the parent as a verb that is the hard part."

She was a sought-after babysitter when she was young but always though she’d make a better mentor or teacher than a parent.

I really identified with these comments. I wanted to be a teacher when I was a kid and the kids I babysat always requested that I be asked to baby sit again, but I never wanted to be a parent. So I posted this comment:

We get the "You'd be such great parents" or "Oh you guys are they type of people who should have kids" too.

I'm sure we could manage to be successful parents IF WE WANTED TO.

The WANT is what is missing.

A Special Gift From a Friend

I received the following email recently from a woman:

Yeah! A friend of mine recently gave me Two is Enough for my 35th birthday. How wonderful to know that there are other couples (and many of them) like us out there that do not want children. We are not "selfish" "broken" or "wrong" for not having children, we simply just do not have the desire/need to have children in order to lead a fulfilling life. I have had two relationships break up because I did not want kids and been questioned and criticized by friends and family who truly believe I should have kids because they just can't wrap their heads around me not wanting children.

I though, what a nice friend! This friend obviously understood that no one should be made to feel broken or wrong for expressing a desire to remain happily without children. I imagine she saw Jennifer as she was—a good person and friend who needed a bit of support and validation for making a choice that many people around her did not understand.